You Can't Fix Stoopid

Police say suspect was caught by his own seat belt
Aug 8, 7:34 PM (ET)
 
EASTPOINTE, Mich. (AP) - Authorities said a purse snatching suspect being chased by police near Detroit got his right leg tangled in his car's seat belt when he tried to bail out and ended up being dragged several hundred feet. Police told the Detroit Free Press and The Macomb Daily of Mount Clemens that 45-year-old man Lawrence Neal of Detroit was dragged Thursday night and broke his leg before the car stopped on a front lawn.

During the chase, police said Neal used turn signals. And Detective Lt. Leo Borowsky said he was "captured by his own seat belt."

Neal was being held at the Macomb County Jail. He was charged with unarmed robbery, fleeing and eluding and resisting and obstructing police.

Police said he requested a court-appointed attorney.

Deputy duped by fake police lights, arrests driver

Jul 30, 4:24 AM (ET)

HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) - Police say a driver blamed a car crash in Hartford, Conn., on two pet baby snakes that he said escaped from his pants pockets as he was driving.

Hartford police Sgt. Christene Mertes says Angel Rolon, of New Britain, claimed he lost control of his SUV on Monday when the snakes slithered near the gas and brake pedals and he and a passenger tried to catch them. The SUV veered into some parked cars and overturned.

Mertes says animal control officers never found the snakes and police have been unable to confirm his story.

Rolon was treated at a hospital for unknown injuries. Police say they gave him a summons for reckless driving and other charges.

There is no public telephone listing for Rolon and it was unclear if he has a lawyer.

Suspected Wyoming kidnapper left ATM card at scene
Jul 14, 3:30 PM (ET)

ROCK SPRINGS, Wyo. (AP) - Deputies say a man suspected of kidnapping a woman used an ATM card with his name on it to pop open a lock at her Wyoming home, and then left the card behind. Sweetwater County authorities say 20-year-old Martin Joseph Adams was arrested last week on suspicion of kidnapping, battery and burglary.
Authorities say the woman and her boyfriend were sleeping when Adams allegedly broke in, fought with the man and then hoisted the screaming woman onto his shoulder and left.
Investigators say they tracked Adams to his residence where they found him and the woman, who had suffered severe bruises.
---
Information from: Casper Star-Tribune - Casper, http://www.trib.com

Police: Man seeks ride from detective after heist
Jul 11, 6:16 PM (ET)

SAGINAW, Mich. (AP) - Authorities say a parolee who robbed a Michigan bank was caught when he tried to hitch a ride from an undercover police detective.

Mark E. White was arraigned Friday on charges that include bank robbery and making a false bomb threat. He is being held at the Saginaw County Jail on $755,000 bond. It was not clear whether White had an attorney. Police did not immediately return a message seeking comment Saturday.

Authorities tell The Saginaw News that White flagged down Saginaw Township Detective Scott Jackson on Wednesday after the bank robbery a few blocks away.

White was paroled June 16 after serving time for operating a vehicle while intoxicated and violating an earlier parole.
---
Information from: The Saginaw News, http://www.mlive.com/saginaw

KIRKWOOD, N.Y. (AP) - State police in New York say two Pennsylvania men robbed a gas station and might have gotten away if they had also fueled up. Troopers said they caught 29-year-old Lonnie Meckwood, of Carbondale, and 51-year-old Phillip Weeks, of Tunkhannock, after their getaway car ran out of gas while the were trying to escape late Monday night.

They're accused of using a knife to rob a clerk at the Quickway Convenience Store in Kirkwood, near the New York-Pennsylvania border about 80 miles south of Syracuse. The clerk wasn't hurt.

Police found the pair about a mile away. Their car was on the side of the road.
They're being held in the Broome County Jail without bail. Troopers don't know if they have lawyers.

Ga. jail inmates burned by own smoking habit
Jul 8, 9:08 PM (ET)

By RUSS BYNUM
SAVANNAH, Ga. (AP) - Two inmates at the Chatham County jail in coastal Georgia got burned by their own smoking habit when they started a fire trying to light a handmade cigarette with a spark from an electrical socket.
Both inmates were treated for minor burns after their cellmates quickly doused the fire with water, Sheriff's Deputy Ron Robinson said Wednesday. He said the jail banned smoking more than a decade ago, but it hasn't stopped inmates from improvising.

"Some of these guys have serious habits and cravings," Robinson said. "They try to smoke a lot of things ... lettuce, collard greens, turnip greens, whatever was served to them at lunch that day."
Jailers suspect the inmates tried to light up by sticking pencil lead into a wall socket in their cell, creating a spark that ignited a piece of cloth they intended to use as a match, Robinson said.

The burning cloth ended up catching fire to a sheet on a nearby bunk. While the fire was quickly extinguished, smoke spread throughout that section of the jail. All 23 inmates in the pod where checked by the jail's medical staff for smoke inhalation, but none were hurt seriously, Robinson said.

The sheriff's department would not release the names of the inmates suspected of starting the fire early Monday. Robinson said they would likely face in-house disciplinary action, but not criminal charges.
Meanwhile, he said, jailers have stepped up cell inspections to reduce the chances of another illicit smoke break turning into a fire alarm.

Fleeing suspect picks the wrong place to hide
Jan 21, 9:17 PM (ET)

PHOENIX (AP) - A suspect who ran away from a traffic stop on Wednesday chose the wrong place to hide when he slipped under a parked moving truck - and then was run over when the driver pulled away. The Arizona Department of Public Safety said an officer stopped a 26-year-old man in west Phoenix just before 7 a.m. after he ran a red light. The man gave the officer his license, then ran away and disappeared behind a convenience store.

As the officer searched for him, the moving truck driver got back in his truck and started to drive away, running over the suspect. The officer stopped the truck and called help for his suspect, who complained of back pain.

The man had a suspended driver license and warrants for DUI and leaving an accident scene. He'll be booked into jail after treatment.

Oops, wrong address: Stolen phones sent to FBI
May 9, 3:20 AM (ET)

MONROE, La. (AP) - If you're going to buy something with a forged cashier's check, don't misspell "cashier's" or use an FBI office as your shipping address.

Police in Monroe, La., say they arrested a 44-year-old man from Memphis, Tenn., after he did both. He was held Friday on two counts of forgery and as a fugitive from justice in Georgia, where he is accused of a similar scheme.

The FBI called police Thursday after a Minnesota cell phone distributor called the bureau.
The company had sent 50 phones to the address for the FBI office Monroe, only to discover its $2,359.45 payment was a "cahier's check".

FBI agents saw the suspect wave down a delivery truck driver outside the bureau later Thursday, stopped the transaction and waited for police.

--- Information from: The News-Star, http://www.thenewsstar.com

Cops: Alleged liquor thief fills out raffle ticket
May 11, 9:02 PM (ET)

HARTFORD, Wis. (AP) - An alleged shoplifter with a bottle of whiskey in his pants decided to take one more gamble before leaving a Washington County liquor store: filling out a raffle ticket. But the gamble led police right to him. The man was charged Thursday with misdemeanor retail theft, resisting an officer and disorderly conduct.

After filling out the raffle ticket to win a ticket to a Slinger Speedway race, the 20-year-old also allegedly snatched two more whiskey bottles before he fled B&S Liquor in Hartford.

Owner Steve Jost said the store clerk saw the suspect fill out the ticket and wasn't going to chase him. The ticket box had been emptied the previous day, so the clerk opened the box after calling police.

--- Information from: Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, http://www.jsonline.com